You're not alone - we understand

Darn Groundhog

2010-02-19T08:46:00.003-06:00

I know it's the midwest and today is actually a relativey nice day for this time of year, but Tom Skilling is saying we could get hit with more snow.

Is anyone else ready for Spring or is it just me?

Stimulus Package

2009-02-12T13:38:00.004-06:00

I would just like to say that we Broke Homeowners have been doing our part to stimulate the economy. We have been all along, but as of late we've made a few rather large ticket purchases. There's an entire story about how the Wii that Santa brought us would only work in black and white on the TV, but the important part is we purchased a 40" LCD TV from Circuit City to get the Wii to work and support the economy. Like two weeks later, Circuit City announces they're closing their doors...

Then there's this carousel DVD player that doesn't seem to want to stay open to allow us to swap disks that we finally got fed up enough to replace. Off to, you guessed it, Circuit City to look for a new "home theater in a box." At least we got a decent deal at the going out of business sale...

Anyway, we've done our part...

Live Illinois Lottery Drawing

2008-12-15T13:38:00.013-06:00

As you might expect, this particular broke homeowner has a few quirks. Some are specific to what screwdriver or ladder I like to use for certain jobs, others are in regard to eating (one of my favorite pastimes), and one is that I enjoy watching the live Illinois Lottery drawing at 9:22pm each night on WGN TV. Strange, I know, if you're here for home improvement-related fodder, now might be a good time to move on. :)

Still here, huh? Can't wait to see where this goes, can you? Before I go any further, there are a couple of things you should know...

First, one of the hosts for the lottery drawings is Linda Kollmeyer and for some reason, she makes me smile. She is an attractive lady but her biggest draw is her personality - she's always happy (on TV, anyway) and almost always has some little spunky well-wish for the evening. Keep in mind, there are two other lottery hosts, so when Linda's on, it's already a good day.

Second, as I've mentioned before (in a Vacation post), I have a bit of a thing for leather. So, you can imagine my excitement when Linda did the Live Illinois Lottery drawing in a leather outfit last night. *gasp* I know! Seriously, how lucky can a guy get?

So, for your viewing pleasure (and mine), here's last night's drawing.

If you're interested, you can peruse the Illinois Lottery gallery for yourself. I, of course, recommend you do.

UPDATE
The luck continues... While not head-to-toe, Linda wore more leather for today's mid-day drawing.

PTUA

2008-11-26T14:18:00.005-06:00

While cleaning bathrooms the other day, I stumbled across an obvious sign that someone in the family needs some serious improvement with their PTUA. By definition, I'm able to eliminate female family members and visitors and, since it was the second-floor hall bathroom where the evidence was found, I'm able to eliminate "casual" guests.

Now, I've had this discussion with my son on several occasions and made it clear that if the PTUA isn't there, you need to sit down. To my pleasure (and surprise), he's actaully taken this to heart and has been pretty good about heeding the warning so it was with a bit of mystery that I discovered the evidence to this poor PTUA.

While cleaning up the aftermath, I gave it some thought and it suddenly occured to me... he recently had a friend spend the night! Could it be that this failure of PTUA was the work of his friend? At this point, I decide to give my son the benefit of the doubt and "pin it" on his friend. Now, I just have to figure out how to talk to his friend's Dad about it...

Oh, what's PTUA, you ask? OK, we're all adults here, right? PTAU stands for Penis to Toliet Uniary Accuracy.

Jimmy Buffett - Broke Homeowners Style

2008-08-01T08:54:00.005-05:00

It's been a while since we've been to a concert and even longer since we partook one at and outdoor venue. We joined up with some neighbors and paid a visit to Margaritaville to spend some quality "hanging out" time with Mr. Buffett himself. As you can see from the picture below, we didn't get very close.

Still good times. There's nothing quite like being in "the lawn" for Buffett concert. It's fun and... interesting all at the same time.

Fins up!

Japanese Beetles

2008-07-21T09:06:00.002-05:00

These things better be found to cure cancer or something else spectacular because they are a pain in the butt!

How many tons have you moved?

2008-06-23T14:22:00.004-05:00

As a do-it-yourselfer, I've moved a lot of materials over the course of my life. Sod, dirt, mulch, lumber, tile, bricks, brick pavers, cinder blocks, concrete, bags of grass seed and fertilizer, trees, shrubs, rocks, granite counter tops, toilets, appliances, furniture, water, etc. Even a hot tub. Twice.

Yesterday, while relaxing, I started to wonder how many tons of stuff I've moved. Consider this example - when we built our most recent house, we transported all the tile ourselves. At 55 pounds a box, it "only" took 37 boxes of tile to add up to more than 2,000 pounds or one ton. Now, consider we moved 50 boxes of tile three times (once onto carts in the store, once off the carts into the trailer, once out of the trailer into the house) just getting it to the house, you can see how quickly this can add up. That tile alone accounted for moving more than 4 tons (50 boxes X 3 moves X 55 pounds = 8,250 pounds).

Think about how much stuff you've moved - it adds up quicker than you might think!

Relaxing? What's that?

2008-06-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first time in a long time we did not have any events or projects planned. In the morning, I asked my wife, "So, what's the plan for the day?" and she responded, "Nothing."

"Huh? Nothing? Well... Hmm... What are we going to do?" I responded. "I thought we'd sit on the deck and watch the kids play in the yard - maybe read a book," she stated.

Relaxing... hmm, what a concept.

Analytics Fun

2008-05-30T13:16:00.004-05:00

There's a lot of you out there interested in "hicks yews" and "leather pants." Especially from Google and Yahoo's image search pages. The leather pants I get, but hicks yews? Not decks or fences or berms, but hicks yews? Specifically hicks yews?

You're an interesting lot - perhaps that's why we get along so well...

Bridges in their natural habitat

2008-05-21T09:06:00.007-05:00

A while back, I posted about the bridges we purchased at Sam's Club. While I was out taking pictures in the yard for some of the other projects we've been working on, I took one of the bridges. You can see one front and center while the other is tucked a way "upstream" in the background. Like I said originally, they look much nicer in their natural habitat.

Gate & Sod fun

2008-05-20T17:10:00.012-05:00

When we decided to have the fence put in, we wanted to make sure it would be up to code should we ever decide to do a pool. One of the requirements for a pool-friendly fence is that all the gates open out. Well as our (lack of) luck would have it, the double-gate at the back of the yard opens into an uphill slope and required some modifications to allow the gates to open out. Because it was a very icky day when the guys were coming to do that part of the fence, we basically just dug a depression big enough to allow the gates to open.

Some time later (see months), as we were starting the planting beds around the fence, it was a perfect time to transplant some sod. As illustrated by the following photos, several 18"x36" sections of sod were required to fill in the depression we'd dug several months back. The best part about it is you can barely tell we transplanted anything. I love it when a plan comes together!

The sod transplant donor

The sod transplant recipient

Feeling old - another casualty

2008-05-18T18:06:00.005-05:00

Well, as I've already mentioned, Spring is in the air and planting season has kicked into high-gear. Wouldn't you know it, as we near the "beginning of the end" for our large-scale landscape projects (at least for the moment), a trip to the Emergency Room rears it's ugly head.

In what should have been a fairly routine trip to Home Depot (affectionately referred to as "The Depot"), to pick up some $70 Colorado Blue Spruce trees, the ol' back gave out. Tree numbers 1 and 2 were successfully placed on the cart and tree number 1 placed in the car when I stopped mid-step and exclaimed to my son, "Whoa, I think I threw my back out."

So, the folks in the orange aprons had to load the other three trees while I limped around picking the other two out. Then, I drove home, changed cars, and headed to the ER. Two hours to find out I have a "lower-back strain." At least there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage. Although I'll pay my primary doctor a visit in the morning. Oh, and the wife just called - she's on her way home with my pain meds and Taco Bell. Ain't life grand?

Stuck Lawn Mowers, Part Deux

2008-05-12T15:56:00.004-05:00

While taking the "mulch" pictures, I remembered to go back to the swale in the back of the yard and get a picture where the riding mower got stuck a while back. It's not nearly as impressive as it was at the time of "the incident" but you can see how it would not be fun to get something that was stuck in the swale out of the swale.

Stuck Lawn Mowers

2008-04-25T17:20:00.004-05:00

Don't you hate when the riding lawn mower gets stuck in the water-filled swale (this is the "creek" that our bridges "span") in the back yard? Me too.

While the swale wasn't muddy when the tractor got stuck, it sure was when we were finished getting it out! Unfortunately, I failed to get any pictures of the event. I will tell you this, though, the tractor wasn't the only thing covered with mud when we were done.

Bridges

2008-04-03T11:25:00.008-05:00

In true broke homeowner fashion, we have a "creek" in our back yard. It's actually more of a rut in a swath but for us, it's a creek. And what does every good creek need? A bridge, of course! But two? Well, when you get carried away at Sam's Club, that's what happens...

Two mind you, not one, but two of the above. For our little creek. They actually look much nicer in a more natural habitat as opposed to the "clean room" environment depicted above.

Foosball anyone?

2007-12-30T18:13:00.000-06:00

What would a basement game room be without entertainment? Exactly-that's what we thought too! So, for Christmas, we asked Santa for a Foosball table and low-and-behold, we got one!

Family tournaments abound and fun smack-talk flies. Boys vs. girls, adults vs. kids, kids vs. adult (note the lack of an "s" on that last one. It's good, clean family fun this Foosball table.

Of course, what do you think everyone wants now? A finished basement, of course. A broke homeowners job is never done...

Costco & Leather Ottomans

2006-02-21T11:49:00.001-06:00

So, the Brokehomeowners venture out to two of our favorite places to shop: Costco and Sam's Club. We're "in the market," as they say, for some inexpensive yet durable chaise lounge chairs for the deck we finished last fall. You see, last summer we built the deck, this summer we plan to use the deck. Using the deck requires a couple of chaise lounges.

So, we start perusing the aisles at Costco (isn't that the only way to shop at Costco?) when what to our wondering eyes should appear? But a leather ottoman, of course. A leather ottoman we've been looking for to use in the family room since we moved more than a year ago.

So much for the chaise lounges - at least we still have some time before Spring...

Winter Thunderstorms

2006-02-16T14:13:00.001-06:00

You know you're a broke homeowner when...

a winter thunderstorm brings a smile to your face because all you can think about is how good it is for your new lawn and trees.

Sick Kids

2006-02-09T08:50:00.001-06:00

Ugh!

As Forrest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

TiVo!

2006-01-29T12:19:00.001-06:00

For a fairly technology-savvy guy, I feel a bit behind the times on the whole DVR thing. I took a crash-course last night setting up the TiVo I got as an early birthday gift yesterday and I'm already hooked!

Just ask my wife about my excitement - "Honey, wanna see me pause the 10 o'clock news?" "Hey, look, I just replayed the 5-day weather forecast!" "Check it out - Will Smith and Martin Lawrence running backwards!"

"Are you going to do this all the time?" she asks.

So, I've got "Lost" set up for a season pass - and "Friends," too. TiVo recorded "City Slickers" and "Dirty Dancing" overnight - because I told it too. :)

This thing is great - I do wonder why it recorded "Matlock" and "The A Team" overnight as well, though... Looks like TiVo and I both have some learning to do.

Desks & Tables & Fish Tanks, Oh My!

2006-01-23T10:36:00.001-06:00

What is it about moving furniture that always turns into a day-long affair? We decided yesterday we were going to move one desk upstairs and bring another down. Of course, this also involved moving two computers, two book-cases, a 35-gallon fish tank, and - before it was all said and done, the dining room table and 6 chairs. Today, we're both sore and we still have a lot of paperwork and books that need to be put back in their respective "new homes."

So much for resting on the seventh day...

The Heater, The Garage, & The Thermostat

2006-01-20T07:54:00.001-06:00

Heated garages are great. Until you get your gas bill, anyway. I put a big heater in our garage this fall to take the chill of the bedrooms over the garage and provide a heated workspace for winter garage projects.

We were already in the project for several hundred dollars so I went cheap on the thermostat. We're paying for it now! Back to the store for a programmable thermostat - the garage doesn't need to be 50 degress during the day!

Finger Insurance

2006-01-20T07:47:00.001-06:00

Check out SawStop, "The World's Safest Table Saw." The blade stops and drops below the table as soon as it detects contact with your body. You'd wind up with a nasty cut, but you'd still have all your digits.

It's not cheap and the $70 safety mechanism is single-use, but how much are your fingers worth? From a guy who recently had a router "incident" that involved more than 50 stitches and 2 hours of surgery, safety seems like a real good thing lately.

My brother-in-law was kind enough to ask (in mocking fashion, of course) if the same technology was available for routers.

Google

2006-01-18T16:35:00.000-06:00

Has it occurred to anyone else that you can probably build an entire business model around Google?

Using AdSense and AdWords, you can both recognize revenue from "selling" ad space and selectively purchase advertising of your own. Throw in Froogle as your store front-end and you're just one good product idea away from writing your own "get rich" book.

Now, about that one good product idea...

Youngin's

2006-01-17T14:05:00.000-06:00

What's with all the high school kids posting on myspace.com? Do they really think their parents and local law enforcement agencies can't read their profanity-laden, sexually suggestive profiles? Some profiles are complete with photographic evidence of illegal drug and alcohol use... I don't get.

Plus, they're listing their phone numbers and home addresses. It's a virtual crime scene waiting to happen.

When I was a boy...